http://www.friendster.com/41011192 <-wag IClick

LAULA: Sabi ko na nga ba Manang, luv mo din ako.
E teka pala. San mo 'ko dadalin?!
MANANG: Kuleeeeet. Wag ka makulit.

LAULA: A bacon treat for a pose.
LEI: Stubborn bItch.

This book is no longer available in SM Dasma.
I had to search for other book stores.
Anyhow, I'm guessing it's a really good buy!


@ Kenny R; I ate half slab. Gluttonous!


I was just checking if my face is still 'edematous' on photos.
It turned out I am always in shock.

Okray

Ano, Ms. Garcia? Parang ang dami mo atang problema.

A oo. Buti napansin mo. Po? Ma'am, marami lang po talaga akong iniisip lagi.

--------

2 hours kami pinagawa ng OS (operating sponge).

Hindi din naman ako ipokrita na ayaw ko nang nakatambay kami. Aba ayos din naman yun, hindi toxic. Naka-aircon, may radyo at naka-scrub suits pa kami. Sobrang komportable. Sarap matulog. Pero ba't naman ganun? Ni hindi pa nga kami nahahasa sa lahat! Ayoko na mag-enumerate. Ang sa 'kin lang.. Pa'no 'pag may emergency AP o CS, ano na gagawin namin? Haler. Tapos babatiin pa ako ng Ano, Ms. Garcia?

Nakaw Miss. Ayusin ang blood vissels. Dapat blood vessels. *wave*

Hindi pa nga nae-episio, e episio na daw. (1st time maka-witness kami ng NSD [Normal Spontaneous Delivery] Gravida 3 na!])

Nakaw Miss talaga. Kala ko ba midwife ka? *wave*

Pero ganun pa man, ginagalang kita. Kasi, c.i. kita e. Sa 'yo ako supposedly matututo. Sana nga. *wave*

--------

First time ko pala makakita ng Chihuahua, tapos inihian pa 'ko. Bwicet. Nabwisit din si Laula hehe. Ayaw pala nun sa kapwa niya aso. Nag-inarte?

Jeepney Drayber

Kahit babae hindi pagbibigyan.. TSK3. Teka. Baka akala bading ako?!

Ilang araw din akong tatahak sa kadiwa. An gulo ng sistema ng driving dun.

Good luck kung makaka kuha kami ng case sa OR. Di bale. Agresibo naman ang c.i. namin. LOL.

Sayang. Kala ko tunay yung emergency TAHBSO (Total Abdominal Hysterectomy Bilateral Salphingo - Oophorectomy). Peke pala. Excision of sebaceous cyst lang pala. Ahuhuhu.

Saturday. Gusto ko nang magbasa ng Like Water for Chocolate ba yun? Pero mukhang korni ata. Pwede bang laktawan ang Friday ?

6-2 Duty

Pwede ka ng Tuesday Thursday?

Umm..Opo?

Shet. Araw-araw na training?

May teammate kaming WNCAA (Women's National Collegiate Athletic Association) mythical. Hanep.

Sasali dapat ako ng cheering. LOL. Kaso di pala pwede at lagi silang inuumaga sa practice. E puro naka-dorm yung mga yun kaya okay lang. Kung ako, yari ako sa bahay!

---------

May isang bata na nag dikit sa car window ng green "notice", POTEK, akala ko tiniketan ako. Note lang pala, nagtatanong asan daw ako. Isip pa ako, "Huh? Wala namang nakalagay na NO PARKING."

---------

Sexuality ang topic ngayong araw. Wala lang kaming ginawa kundi tumawa, mag-rationalize, at magkwentuhan. Hehe.

As usual, may natutunan na naman akong green joke.. at di lang basta-basta. Napamura tlga ako kasi to the highest level itech.

Pinakita din sa 'min ang uncensored kama sutra. Boring. LOL.

Tinuro sa 'min kung pa'no i-measure ang penile circumference at length which is proven 99% true. Tinuro din kung pa'no malalaman ang size ng vagina which I highly doubt on accuracy.

Kaya ayun, ingat sa mga gestures at pananalita. Sinabihan tuloy kami na 50% of the class ay 'di na virgin. <-- WOAH.

From This Day Forward

HIM

Wow as in wow. A lot of chicks are checking him out hah!

THE OTHER HIM
Either he's in love or he's just crazy in love.

SOMEONE
I'm confused as to whether he's a he or she's a she.

NO LOOK PASS
No joke. They say I did it twice and didn't even realized it. (?!)

24
My classmate said he'd probably marry at the age of 24..and realized after 10 seconds that he's already 20 and that it would have to be very soon in that case! He was apparently shocked by his own suggestion. LOL. *toinkz*

----------

Like 80% of our class have sworn their hearts and minds out because of several failing grades and I, of course, am not exempted to that. Whew. I'm actually ashamed of my attitude towards studying. They say it should not be a stressful one but it surely requires hard work and I'm tired. Should I say, we're all tired?

Anyway, I don't really want to talk about how frustrating this day has been for most of us.

Hmm.. I figured I suck in English.. particularly in grammar and spelling. (?!)

Hehe. I can't believe I had to think twice on which spelling is right for the word 'cesarean' (section). I guess what I wrote is right.

Nonsense! I just wanted to post, that's all. *wave*

Talk About Faint

Gaaahh. I didn't faint. I just think I should from all the "body neglect" I did to myself. Considering I'm in the health profession, I sometimes fail to take care of myself.

Geez. I didn't know how intense was the word "intense" til today's practice. From a week of being stagnant (or no exercise), my body's in poor condition. I think I have to take weight training seriously if I want to improve. Speaking of "improvements", the whole time before training, I constantly thought of quitting the "varsity" (not sure yet if I'm in the team already). My seat mates were very supportive and convinced me not to quit or everything I have started will just go to waste. They were barely the reason I hung on. There's something else. Haha. or should I say.. there's someone else. Hahaha. But it's nothing serious. I just figured, oh what the heck, I can do this! I was very motivated by my seat mates. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me. Jef told me, "Nag-improve ka maniwala ka. 'Di ba ngayon mas tumatagal ka na sa court? 'Di ba pamilyar ka na sa court ngayon?" While on my left, Jo would say something like, "Lei. Kaya nga training 'di ba? O 'di ba marunong ka ng mag-cross over?"

Huhuhu. I was like.. Wow, I really am improving! I didn't know these were called "skills" already hahaha!

Anyway, I can shoot now. OMG this is what I call achievement. One of the coaches taught me how to do boarding. I'm glad my arms cooperated throughout the one-on-one. I thought that particular coach (they are 3 at the moment) looks good but apparently, he's just okay to look at I guess. :) Hehe. He was very pushy and kept telling me, "Wala. Hindi ka na makaka-shoot kahit kailan." I replied, "Sobra. Nakaka-shoot naman po ako ha!"

Sobra na talaga yung mokong na yun. Haler. Hindi kasi siya nakatingin. Nakaka-shoot na 'ko. Epal talaga nun. Haha.

Grabe. Kung anu-anong pagtakbo pinagawa sa 'kin. Bawal pang umupo. Bawal mag-water break 'pag hindi naka-shoot. Tae. I actually told him, "Coach, I quit!" (as in English na I quit!) He just said, "Hinde! Isa pa!" Parang tanga lang.

Eniwei. Bakit nga pala 'faint'? Hindi xe ako nag-lunch. This is all my dog's fault! Err. I think my fault too. I got home at 5 pm..fixed myself and my things. Had an egg sandwich and extra joss hoping it'll be enough to keep me movin'. I immediately went to the gym but I was still not in my best condition.

Sa'n ba may sports massage?

read @ ur own risk blUes 61366

"OMG in-add nya."

30 secs later ...

"Shet. In a Relationship."

"...sabi ko na nga ba ndi na dapat ako nag-OL e."

Haha. Baliw.

Ok lang. Mali naman un spelling nung babae. Imbis na breathE in e breath in. Hindi typo a, talagang "breath in breath out".

O. Mamatay na mang-away sa 'kin. Totoong mapangpuna ako. <--Hala, parang mali. Mapangkutya yata. Ewan!! Yun lang, medyo mahina ako sa choice of words.

Lang kwenta nanaman ung post ko. Tsk.

-------
Maiba ako.

Ang mahal kong nanay e "mukhang" bibili ng pug in 6 months time. Sa loob-loob ko, shet watta disaster. Mukhang ako mag-aalaga. Malamang talaga dahil ako lang ang matiyaga. Disaster ito!

-------
Nakakatuwa pala ung Goin' Bulilit. Ang cute ni Aaron. May isa pa akong kilalang Aaron na super cute din. Gusto ko iuwi na lang. Hehe parang aso lang a!

Panalo yung, (sorry, di ko ma-quote ng tama)

"Minsan napadaan ako sa dalawang mag sweetheart..."

"Ano nangyari?"

"Ayun.. Nauso ang break-up."

Wala lang. Corny pero panalo tlga.

-------
Seryos mod!

How to really measure a woman's worth?

Is it by the man she chooses? Or the man who chose her?

Teka. E pano yung mga lesbian? Nyaha.

Edi.

Is it by the person she chooses? Or the person who chose her?

Magulo pa din.

Eto ha. Shet gagawin ko ba tlga to?

Eto na.

SILA: "May boyfriend ka na ba?"

Kung naitarak ko lang since last week, naku, mga 20 times na siguro akong natanong.

Ano'ng sagot ko? Smile lang.

Erna.

Kailangan ba tlga yun?

I don't think it's necessary. Sabi nga ni Toni Gonzaga, "He's worth the wait." Haha ang bading.

Ang sa 'kin lang, medyo whew. Kasi parang ang dating e, "You (woman) are worth nothing without a man."

I can very well manage. Thanks but no thanks.

This is hopefully the last time I'll be talking about NONSENSE.

read @ ur own risk blUes

At this moment, my batch mates are either watching Harry Potter or are drinking @ Popoy's Grill. Err. While the very obedient daughter named Lei, bores herself off at home because her mom told her so. I really wanted to watch Harry Potter with my block mates then drink liquor (which I doubt I would) @ my friend's house afterwards. Haven't been drinking for a while.. I figured that if ever I were with them right now, I'd probably just lie in bed or drink cold Coke, instead of drinking Red Horse, San Mig LYT or whatever. I just feel tired and depressed from Monday til today, Thursday. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I feel different from what I used to be. Waw pare bigat!

I hate going out merely because I have to go find a vet to have Laula dewormed tomorrow. Aw. Finally, I can get her to walk outside and show her who the boss really is!! I have to drive to the dentist too, dammit. I just want to lay idly just for one day.. just for one friggin whole day.

But I certainly can't and that's a fact. Sheesh.

This post is absolutely nonsense.

I showed some of my block mates the picture of Laula in my fone and they all went, "Oh, she looks like a toy!", "She's cute.", "She's adorable."

I just told them, "She's a bitch." and they all protested.

I am in antibiotics therapy. I am stressed out. I don't like texting. I hate it when I receive silly messages on my fone. LOL

I hate my Pain & Surg major exam. How could it be so difficult? Dammit.

I hate my Pharma major exam. How could it be so so so damn difficult? Dammit again.

I hate Operating Room topics because I feel I would never be good at anything.

I hate basketball practices because I don't think I'm improving. I'm always the "mahinhin" dribbler and shooter. Gawd I'm such a girl and I can't

I hate my dog because she's stubborn.

I love my dog because she wags her tail whenever she sees me and whenever I talk to her. It's as if she knows how I feel deep inside when I know for sure, she has zero idea what's on my mind. I'm crazy about her because I have so much things in mind that I'd surely buy for her. I give her Dog Bacon treats even though she's not doing anything proper. When Manang scolds her, I keep her away from her. When Manang puts her on her crate. I let her out! When she stinks, I give her "patient" baths. She's most adorable when she tilts her head. I think the reason why I have Laula now is to teach myself some patience, love, and to give in to emotions because I certainly lack these.

------

sabi nung katext ko, maganda daw ang prison break. shet gusto ko nun. gus2 ko tlg ng heroes!!!!!! at syempre house. shet, kelangang mg sem break na. napagiiwanan na ko sa mga tv series!! kahit ung Mommy Elvie's Problematic Show wla pa kong napapanood na episode. Bad 3p tlga. haha. ang laki ng problema ko *sob*

Accidents

Not the vehicular accidents you're thinking of! or gun shot wounds and multiple stabs..
Saturday July 14, 2007 is the day my new pet Shih-tzu came home at 2 months and 2 weeks I think. I still don't have her papers yet. Her name's Laula, btw. She kind of bit me at my Achille's. Not sure though if she really bit me, all I saw was a hematoma patterning her whole set of baby teeth and it hurts so bad. I had to go to Animal Bite Center and buy anti-rabies Favirab for 1550 per vial. I had tetanus toxoid and the syringes for free. To sum it up, the whole vaccination costed me 4Kphp. The friggin bitch (c'mon I know you know it's a female dog) costed 10Kphp. My mom was friggin mad at me for my carelessness. I am so friggin mad TOO because I had several injections and I despise them.

• 2 stinging skin tests
• 2 I.M. inj. of TT @ 2 deltoid muscles
• 8 cc I.M. inj @ gluteus medius
• 2 cc I.M. inj @ site of bite (Achille's)
• 3 ml I.M. inj @ deltoid

Of course, I didn't cry.. I just asked for mercy.. as in literally, I did. Of all, I couldn't stand the 8 cc. When we had our return demonstration on some parenteral one-on-one, I cried and couldn't move my arm when I was injected 1 cc of distilled water @ the deltoid. Compare that to friggin 8 cc!

My dog shouldn't make me suffer. She has no anti-rabies yet because she's to have that when she's 3-4 months of age or she'll die. Because she bit me, I have to observe her for 14 days. Gawd, I just hope she doesn't friggin die.

PUPPY NO-NO'S:

• Play with them using hands and feet. [This will make them think these are toys and are chewable! This is the reason I got bitten.]
• Potty train inside the house. [Her toilet should always be outside the house. Since puppies have no bladder control YET, I had to keep my eyes on her for signs of "going".]
• Let her roam inside the house. [She will poop and pee everywhere, chew carpets and rags. You should have a crate. Let the puppy outside the house after naps, 1o minutes after eating/ drinking, after playing, before bed time.]
• Have her eat lots of food because you think she's hungry. [It should always be moderate in amount or they will have diarrhea.]
• Buy her an inflated ball. [Canine teeth deflates it easily. Instead, buy a tennis ball.]
  

Trust me to not do these. Day 1, I prepared all the newspapers, but then she ignored them and kept peeing on tiles and pooping everywhere. I wanted to return her and forget about the puppy thing but my mom will reprimand me if I do that. So, she didn't recognize papers, I am now trying the "wait for signs of peeing, then carry her to where she's supposed to pee". I couldn't do this all the time because I have to study and can't keep an eye on her all the time.

From the no-no's, I actually said not to potty train inside the house. Well, that is ideally the concept, but I can't go outside hourly to do that and wait for her to pee. So the outside training is only for poops and if she pees then that's better..but the pee could be inside the house only at specific sites like the mat but this wouldn't prevent indoor accidents, mind you. So, I guess patience is really a virtue.

I tried to give her a bath, she didn't like it. I wasn't able to soap her well and rinse her well, too. She hated the blower which is 1-2 ft away already! She hates combs. I hate her.

Welp even though Laula is very much a brat, I gave her a dog toy, bought a ball which she deflated in less than an hour [stupid thing for me to do], bought a collar and leash which I haven't used yet, but is designed for leadership training. She thinks she's the boss. I think I will undergo tonsillectomy in no time from all the scolding and shouting. I also bought Purina Begging strips in bacon and cheese flavor. I figured treats will do magic on the ropes of training her. I let her taste some and she liked it..but she won't get it very often because of her behavior. The Purina Begging strips are also good for the teeth, says the man from the pet shop. My mom buys the dog food though but I can manage that, too. I wanted to buy Pedigree but it costs twice than the brand we use at the moment.

This dog costs me my allowance so I have to be really good at this behavior training or everything will just go in to waste. I am a person who has no patience perhaps, 20% for that matter. She's getting on my nerves most of the time. I'm just glad I am not hypertensive.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Meet the pUp. Leave a bone. :)

Join the Dogster community

LUrrrV FLAT TOPS

BALANCE. i know most of my classmates don't know the meaning of this word. LOL. because most of the time, from my assessment, they are either too tired to study or too studious to sleep. it's like a routine already.. them staying at their dorm, to study, to sleep and eat. however, when i ask them about how boring their lives are, i often hear protests. they defend themselves so much that i just laugh at them and tell them how silly they sound.

CVA/ cerebral infarction. this is unfair. I always (as in always) encounter stroke patients. yesterday was my third and is hemiplegic on Left side of his body. gawd. poor man. but he's still lucky he only had mild stroke.

END OF ROTATION in WARD. Next stop: JP OR. gawd I'm going to miss my 2-10 duty. I am nocturnal! LOL.

EVALS. took the exam for 2 hrs. twas draining but i know I will pass nevertheless. our professor made sure that no one gets a perfect score at it. how nice

FOOD. my appetite's back and I'm glad. I'm currently addicted to frozen flat tops!!

JOKE. I feel that nobody's taking me seriously. everyone thinks I'm always joking when I am NOT.

MEMORY...gap. I'm serious. it's true that I'm experiencing it not once but often times. I'm starting to feel like I'm worse than an Alzheimer's patient.

MORNINGS. my everyday school dilemma is to find a parking lot especially during my days on duty. I had to park on the pay-per-parking lots which are so narrow that I had to drive with every caution imaginable.

OF. (osteorized feeding) I was surprised on how easy it is to feed a patient thru OF. Angel and I fed her obtunded patient.

ROOM. My room is so unbelievably clean. If you could just see it! It was like my room during my 2nd yr college days when I constantly clean my room. But today, it was the courtesty of Manang! Still recovering from awe, I asked her, "Manang, favorite mo ba ako?" She replied, "Hinde. Naguguluhan lang talaga ako sa kwarto mo!"

SATURDAY. exactly 2nd week of July. hmm.. it's the dog day, hopefully. but I will study study study for 2 unit tests and eventually prelim exams. it will be tough, i presume!!

SELF. Hath I been selfish? emo time. shet. back then, I would always check on people & forget about myself but there came a time when I needed space from "them" that it all felt right. now, I don't know where I stand to them. they've become alienated to me and I'm starting to feel bad..

I have always been there for them. how can I be called selfish when I was always [always] there? life is so complicated. sometimes, I don't know how to keep pace anymore.

Glutaphos vs. Extra Joss

THIS WEEK: Napurga sa sausage-stuffed

Hulyo 9 LuneS
Hindi pala 30 antibiotics, kundi 35. At dahil tinulugan ko lang ang Pharma, 26/35 ako sa antibiotics. Sa dinami-dami ng antibiotics, talagang 'di nag-aral ang mababa ang score sa test na 'yon.

Dalawang term na lang, (thank you Lord!) tapos na ang Literature. Pero naaawa din ako sa "teacher" namin sa Lit (hehehe). Aw last subject eh, sorry siya! Ako naman, (buti na lang nasa likod ako), panay reklamo. "Haler miss, 5:30 na! Dismiss na no!" Inaamin ko hirap talaga ako sa Lit kaya ayaw ko nun. <--'Yun 'yun e! Debut pala ng seatmate ko [July 9]. Hindi ako inimbita. Napakasaklap. Tiga-"bayan" daw ako?! Mga tiga-Nix at dormbuilt lang ang tinext. Sabi ko nga, "Hoy 3 minutes away lang ako!" 'Di bale, hindi rin naman ako makakapunta. May training. Pero hindi ko na siya bibigyan ng paper. Wehehe. Hoy maligayang kaarawan, pagkatapos akong pitik-pitikin, at suntukin, tsk3.

Hulyo 10 MarteS
May libreng yellow pad pag naka-perfect score sa test ni Sir. Ngayon lang ako nakarinig nun.

May libreng torniquet kay Ma'am pag sa kanya naman naka-perfect. Ano'ng klaseng motivation ang mga ito?

Pero ganun pa man, wala akong pINerfect na exam.

Hulyo 11 MiyerkuleS
Ngayon yan. Tapos na ang Pain & Surgery. Shet, may natutunan ba ako? Buti na lang at hindi natuloy ang unit test ngayon kundi, mababa nanaman grade ko dun.

Wala ngang 150-item unit test, pero meron namang 35 na immunologic agents, aw. Dahil hindi ako nag-cram at nagbasa ako ng nagbasa, sosyal. 42 ang naisulat ko. Sana bigyan ako ng torniquet!!! Haha. Kung baga sa pre-school, may stars na stamp sa kamay. 'Yun nga lang, sa sarili ko lang 'yun. Alangan naman ipakita ko pa sa nanay at tatay ko.

Bad trip yung isang test. 17/25, ok na yun kmpara sa mga 8, 12, etc. Ba't ba kasi nauso pa ang mga vesicant anti-infectives na 'yan? Masakit na nga sa patient. Masakit pa ulo ko.

Ngayon lang din 'to.
Naisip ko..at madamdaming pag-iisip.. Bakit may mga taong nakakainis pero wala namang ginagawa sa'yo? Sobra talaga. Pero hindi lang pala ako. Baka nga naman meron talaga siyang ginagawang hindi kaaya-aya. Try ko na lang baguhin ang pag-iisip ko kasi bad yun e. Tatahimik na lang ako.. Pero "deep inside", "Hey you! Yes, you! Mag-ahit ka ng kilay!"

Bwahahahaha. Shet, karma ito!!!

Happy Birthday Tachie!

I bought 2 hamsters (brown and white) for Archie--complete with cage and 1-2 years supply of hamster's food. It costed me 1/3 of my week's allowance. It doesn't happen everyday naman.
Archie (my inaanak/ godson) named them Stephanie and Jack. Err.. I don't know why. He's 6 years old today, btw!

So, why hamsters? I guess they're cute to look at but I would never buy myself one. My sister's right when she said, "They're boring for a pet." Well, the rationale is for my godson to have a sense of responsibility at an early age and when he has grown up, he will remember his first ever pets, Jack and Stef. Nice names, though, for a person I guess but definitely not for silly mice. Hehe. My mom said, "Akala ko Jack and Jill." o_o Sometimes, I really hoped that my mom would refrain from giving comments.

Today is 7-7-07. Lucky day, eh? But not for all, according to a blockmate.

Aw. Mas pipiliin ko pang mag-epistaxis sa major subjects ko kesa sa writing style ni E.E. Cummings.

Currently reading:

• Introduction of one of E.E. Cummings books

Actually, I don't have to read it but I just think I should..so as to understand his style in writing. I've read his other poems and they are simply amazing. There's this poem that was assigned to us to interpret. Geez, I just can't comprehend. So, I'll leave it to my groupmates. Hehe.


------------------------------
B a c k . t o . r e a l i t y

I seriously have to get back to work! Can't afford to fail on my numerous Pharmacology and Medical-Surgical Nursing quizzes or I'll be dead.

"Whose imagined, therefore is limitless." - E.E. Cummings

End of Life

I have tons of things to do and all I can say is, "Ang pogi pala ng residente namin."

• Buy practice paraphernalia/ Do basketball drills.
  
• Pharma quizzes
• 30 Viamins, fluids and electrolytes
• 30 Antibiotics to be memorized
• Health Education quiz
• "Among Crumbling People" presentation
• Reflection on "We Real Cool"
• Comparison and contrast on "Dry your tears, Africa!" and "The Gift Outright"
• Compile drugs and cases for July 13, 07 Evaluation
• Forms to be submitted
• Learning Experience
• Intraoperative Phase quizzes
• Postoperative Phase
• I.V. therapy, draping, skin prep
• positioning topic
• anesthesia topic

Cases

• Ruptured varicosities, DM foot, PVD, DM II
• Fracture, 9 y.o.
• CVD brainstem, left thalamus, cerebral edema
  
• Post-op thyroidectomy due to neoplasm
  

I actually cried when I received my "stroke" patient in the service ICU--partly because I pity him, and mainly because I cannot do anything for my patient. He just lied there in deep coma, complete with ET tube and cardiac monitor. Vital signs are stable but it's all just because of the machines there (monitor and mech'l vent). I felt useless because his life is not in our control anymore. I didn't want to see anyone die. Because of that, I didn't eat dinner at all, my groupmates couldn't talk to me anymore. It was all like a nightmare.

Unlike in the ward, patients are conscious, communicative, under pharmacologic therapy, and they can verbalize what they feel or if they are in pain or experience discomfort. It's tough to take care of a critical patient because it's very much of a life and death situation. And I just couldn't. Call me coward but I didn't want to harm anyone. I knew I had to assess the vital signs every 15 or 30 mins. and pupil reactions, motor reflexes, etc. but I just couldn't touch him. There were doctors to assess anyway so I just assisted. The next day, the family decided to take him home against medical advice so he was discharged and he was no longer my patient. I heard he died and that he is a far relative of ours.

In my heart and in my mind, I will never forget you, Sir. I hope you heard my name, at least, and when I said goodbye and that I'd be back tomorrow. There are things that we should accept, I guess. It maybe is your time and may you rest peacefully. My prayers are with you.

Out Of Exasperation, Pardon Me

I see that there are 'post options' here in Blogspot. Now that's a good thing. I'll move my older site here when I've got the time.

But for the moment, I will tell how disturbed I am solely by my mind set.


HATES

• I hate mythology.
• I hate spending time on my English subject.
• I dislike doing movie analysis.
• I just despise my minor subjects, I guess..

THINGS I WANT TO DO

• Practice dribbling.
• Buy first a friggin' ball!
• Cardio workouts
• Arm exercises
• Earn money
• Edit this blog
  

These are probably the 'reasons' why I've been eating with poor appetite the whole day. I keep on thinking the things I badly want to do but I can't because of a lot of requirements that shouldn't be required in the first place. I don't see the point of those movie analysis and reflection papers. I mean we have managed to be in level 3 but still I feel like I'm in high school passing 2-page reaction papers. Dammit!

I know that these things shouldn't be a problem but I can't function well when I have my mind set with the better things I want to do. You see the battle between needs and wants? Well I effin want it my way and I feel really bad I can't have it that way.

I'm starting to sound like a toddler, my sister can't believe I'm acting such.

My second dilemma is that I need to earn money to buy my stuffs. My mom wouldn't buy me a ball 'cos it costs a grand or less. So I had to borrow 1000 from her. How the hell am I gonna pay her back? I just want to be somehow independent when it comes to my wants. I want to have a sense of fulfillment. Savings don't work for me 'cos I pay for bunch of photocopies and I do something for leisure, of course! I can't work for somebody because my studies has to come first no matter what. The only way is to come up with a business I can manage.

I actually told my seatmate, "Kailangan ko ng raket. I need money. How about a business of my own?" She just said, "Lei, just focus on your studies. After college, do whatever you want. Earn money like there's no tomorrow."

Gawd. Do I sound very desperate? I thanked her btw. She's full of sense, y'know. :)

Anyway, call me whatever you want, but I need to earn money NOW. I just don't know yet how I can make some.