Out Of Exasperation, Pardon Me

I see that there are 'post options' here in Blogspot. Now that's a good thing. I'll move my older site here when I've got the time.

But for the moment, I will tell how disturbed I am solely by my mind set.


HATES

• I hate mythology.
• I hate spending time on my English subject.
• I dislike doing movie analysis.
• I just despise my minor subjects, I guess..

THINGS I WANT TO DO

• Practice dribbling.
• Buy first a friggin' ball!
• Cardio workouts
• Arm exercises
• Earn money
• Edit this blog
  

These are probably the 'reasons' why I've been eating with poor appetite the whole day. I keep on thinking the things I badly want to do but I can't because of a lot of requirements that shouldn't be required in the first place. I don't see the point of those movie analysis and reflection papers. I mean we have managed to be in level 3 but still I feel like I'm in high school passing 2-page reaction papers. Dammit!

I know that these things shouldn't be a problem but I can't function well when I have my mind set with the better things I want to do. You see the battle between needs and wants? Well I effin want it my way and I feel really bad I can't have it that way.

I'm starting to sound like a toddler, my sister can't believe I'm acting such.

My second dilemma is that I need to earn money to buy my stuffs. My mom wouldn't buy me a ball 'cos it costs a grand or less. So I had to borrow 1000 from her. How the hell am I gonna pay her back? I just want to be somehow independent when it comes to my wants. I want to have a sense of fulfillment. Savings don't work for me 'cos I pay for bunch of photocopies and I do something for leisure, of course! I can't work for somebody because my studies has to come first no matter what. The only way is to come up with a business I can manage.

I actually told my seatmate, "Kailangan ko ng raket. I need money. How about a business of my own?" She just said, "Lei, just focus on your studies. After college, do whatever you want. Earn money like there's no tomorrow."

Gawd. Do I sound very desperate? I thanked her btw. She's full of sense, y'know. :)

Anyway, call me whatever you want, but I need to earn money NOW. I just don't know yet how I can make some.