venture out!

venture out? lame!

2 days ago, i've learned that almost everywhere I go, there'll always be AT LEAST one of these:

• Nursing student (doesn't matter.. from 1st year undergrad-doctorate)
• Son/Daughter of a nurse
• Has an immediate family who is a nurse abroad
• Has a relative who is a nurse
• Parent/Sibling who is a nurse

That is Pinoy setting.. I've read this actually from an article somewhere. And it made me laugh when I read it. I realized that it really is a tough competition! You may not know who you encounter in life..

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We had ham, carbonara, spag, puto, and queso de bola for noche buena. There were only six of us who ate. I asked ruby what they had for noche buena and my god! They surely had a lot for xmas! (In Jewish, Hannukah! but I know no Jewish personally.) and lots of visitors too, from what I heard.

--------
I received a late xmas gift due to a late xmas gift request! It was Teddy.... the Peanut Butter! who's choco-colored...

thank you!!

--------
Think I received around 10 unknown numbers who greeted the cell last 24.. Yes, the cell phone! never bothered to ask who they were.. but I was pretty sure with a particular number. of course, how could i forget?! still has my number, I see..

fool

--------
Finished my first James Patterson novel. took me 3 days 23, 24, 25. holiday's been busy. but it was good!! literally breath taking! ever since, i already liked detective plots, crimes, forensics, military.. basically, action and puzzles. this one's a thriller. hadn't expected it to be beautifully brutal. it widened my imagination. which is good. :)

--------
I pray to have a Wilson-like friend in real life. Not that I liken myself to House. Err. House is House. :) But Wilson is such a good friend! lol

--------
_____ 2008! Gawd. We still have requirements to pass for our Research and Humanities class. Darn.

wake up

hell week's over. at least they say. I think I lack 30 hours of sleep.. probably more. I even went to the mall and didn't bother sleeping. I was able to review for 2 hours too for the quiz. yet there wasn't any quiz for our prof called in sick..

duty days at the ward made me skip meals. as in, lunch and dinner. at home, I gotta rest.. so basically, it's a meal per day.

but as I said, it's over. next week, all we have to do is to prepare for the major examinations.. no presentations, no other requirements.. just study hard for the exams. and pass the prelim!

so far, so good.

ouch ho-ho-ho drama!

xet..... ang gnda gnda nmn nya! haha. may cr-v pa! <--ata. di ko sure kung cya nga ung may sasakyan na puti dati. err labo! Anyway, cya ng sosyal! :)

----------
Pag cnabing m.u., hindi naman basta basta nalilimutan db? lagi siguro magkatxt. ewan ntin. eniwei, edi cla na! haha!

----------
Nasa'n na kaya ung usb ni josa? Taena talaga. Andun lang naman ang NCS na pang case pre ng group nmin at ung presentation for humanities. Kamusta nmn kami?

Pero tapos na kami ng video for CHN, NCS manuscript, at humanities art exhibit. nakanang!

Malamang tapos na rin ang duty namin sa ward. Ayoko ng mag-duty no.. Hehe! Pero nakakatuwa kasi ang galing na namin gumawa ng SOAPIE. Pag binabasa ko nga ung mga gawa ko, parang aba naisip ko pa pala un!

Things to do: Individual NCS handwritten, study OB concept, Thesis Chapter 1, study CHN.

Keri na naman cguro tong mga to! Waa...

Fiesta pla samin kahapon.. kumain lang kami.. tapos chinorva ang kelangan chorvahin na requirements.. Sayang hindi ako nkapunta kina trixie at bienne.. Hindi ko napanood si john ace.. Hindi ko nakasama ang tropa.. Pero gnun tlga.. Kaya nga ba....

Sana matapos na ang prelim.

weird weird weird

isa pa.

weird tlga.

but there's really no such thing as random.. no such thing as chance.. every thing might happen. we're not just sure what will it be first..

ano daw?

aun.

kaninang umaga, papasok ako ng school ng 7:40 am sa relo ko.. naglalakad si _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (haba no? hehe) malamang papasok sa skul.. same school as mine! syempre.. pareho kami ng course hahahahaha.

aun.

isasabay ko na sana.. kasi naisip ko male-late na cya.. kasi maglalakad pa cya. sasakay ng jeep. at maglalakad pa uli sa wang. KASO naisip ko, wag na lang. at binilisan ko na lang ang patakbo. pero may humps e! kaya nag slow down din. takte. cguro napansin niya. cguro hindi nya napansin. ewan ko na..

umuwi ako ng 5:50 pm sa relo ko.. nag computer shop muna ako bago dumiretso sa bahay.. nag maneobra (maneuver?) pa ko.. pauwi na tapos.. sakto, same spot. ibang direksyon lang kasi pareho kaming pauwi. nakita ko nanaman cyang naglalakad. oo c _ _ _ _ _ _ _. ung type na type ko no'ng high school.. haha!!!

grabe weird talaga!

bottomline: Sana.... bumagyo na lang kanina = walang pasok = di ako pumasok = di rin cya pumasok

wahaha.

OR as an elective?

Today, I woke up with my 6 months old puppy, Laula, in my room chewing some pencil. good gracious!

Gawd. She can be stubborn!

I feel sad since last night because our OR duty had to end.. I guess it's where I enjoyed the most, of all the departments. I mean...in the ward, it's all nurse-patient interaction, and you've gotta deal with different sorts of personalities. There's the patient in agony.. There's the relative who won't trust a student.. There's them who wouldn't entertain you..

In the service ICU, the patients are obtunded..are unresponsive.. The feeling is ghastly, knowing that any moment, someone might die.

In the community, well.. it bores us sometimes.. It's all about immunizations, pediatric profile, family assessments..

Life as a student nurse is like a routine you should be used to by the time you're in 4th year, I guess?

Okay.. So, in the OR, 'almost' everyone is jolly. There's the head nurse for a start who's very patient at our faults. There are the ortho docs which makes girls smile a lot. There's the sound of the first cries of the newborn babies during CS. There's the staff who seem content with their work. There are the students who 'nenoks' stuff hehe.. There's Poa and I who constantly kid about water-soluble lubricating jelly as a necessity in life's da works.. ;p

It's incomparable to others! But I really think I will not choose OR as an elective. I think that E.R. will be a very crazy experience! 'Cause in the OR, it's the company of others that makes the experience worthwile. In the ER, I'm still not sure what to 'really really' expect.. I have to figure it then. can't wait to be in the ER which is in our 4th year pa!

the theatre duty 2nd week!

Nov. 14, WED
(You anxious?)

My dad's surgery is scheduled this day. I instructed Manang that my dad was on NPO (nothing per orem) from 12mn. The damn surgeon Dr. V, started the surgery around 2:30 pm the next day which is my shift! We were told that the surgery will start at 10 am. My anxiety level was on the roof the whole time I was there in the O.R. There's this "Extension Syndrome" that the O.R. nurses believe.. It means, although the patient is sedated, there's tension between the patient and the surgeons. And there's this belief of the surgeons that, when a relative is inside the O.R., the patient will bleed. So, I just scrubbed in for the minor surgery and made myself busy. After the surgery, I called my mom and asked for the prognosis. I couldn't believe how good I am at calming myself when everything's not right. It's like I've mastered the art of looking okay when I feel so bad. I'm actually thinking I could be a good actress! err. not me.

Anyway, I followed my dad at the R.R. (recovery room), and chatted with the clerk. He explained to me the procedure as he was there throughout the surgery. Intra-operatively, they did an x-ray with the use of dye, from the liver, it stopped at the CBD (common bile duct) which indicates an obstruction. Supposedly, it will flow until the duodenum. The prognosis was bad. Anyway, we can't do nothing about it. My dad's weak and all. The surgeons anastomosed two parts of the stomach as there was obstructions too. I'm just not so sure if they were stones or masses. Basicallly, the surgery was pallative.

Just right after the surgery, I went in the O.R. 3
LEI: Tatay...
Anesthesiologist: (Nakatingin lang sa 'kin.)
LEI to Anes.: Doktor, tatay ko po 'yan.
Anes.: Ano?
LEI to Anes.: Tatay ko po cya.
Anes.: Estudyante ka ba namin dito?
LEI: Opo.

Then they had to transfer him to the R.R. with an NGT (nasogastric tube) inserted intra-op for lavage purposes because the anastomoses have to heal first before he can eat, external biliary drain, and of course, IFC.

Nov. 15, THURS.
(The Ovum Forcep)

I played the role of circulating nurse throughout the shift! It's cool when your clinical instructor entrusts you to the... yknow... the works! :) The other half of the group had their duty at Fabella O.R. There's only six of us left in the UMC.

Nov. 16, FRI.
(Scrub kung scrub!)

Pinakapamatay sa lahat 'tong araw na 'to.

We're still six in the UMC O.R., so we're kinda toxic. Haha.


[4pm]
MA'AM GENUINO: Sino naka-assign na scrub sa CS?
LEI: Ma'am ako po.
MA'AM GENUINO: Mag-open ka na ng gloves mo tapos mag-scrub ka na.
LEI: Owki.

Syempre kampante ako, scrub 1 ba naman si Sir Elmer! E super bait nun. Andami tinuturo sa 'kin. At kabisado na nya ang CS. So chicken lang talaga para sa kanya.

----------------
[6:30pm, tapos na ang CS, at naghuhugas na 'ko ng instruments]
MA'AM GENUINO: Ms. Garcia, pagkatapos mo d'yan, yayain mo na si Ms. Eduardo sa R.R, mag-break na kayo.
LEI: Cge po, Ma'am.
MA'AM GENUINO: Ms. Garcia, may isa pang service CS, sayang e. Kunin n'yo na ni Mr. Llorca. Hindi naman ako uuwi. Dito lang ako sa O.R. Since, may sasakyan ka naman, kayong dalawa na lang ang mag-scrub. Okay lang ba sa'yo?
LEI: Cge Ma'am, okay lang po.
MA'AM GENUINO: Pero, sa palagay ko, alas-diyes pa magsisimula yun e.


----------------
[7pm]
LEI: Meryl, kain tau dun sa conference hall!
MERYL: Dun tau?
LEI: Oo, pwede sbi ni Ma'am!
LEI:(Kabubukas pa lang ng tupperware...)
MIKO: Lei, andyan na ung CS!
LEI: Andyan na?!
MIKO: Oo! Pero cge kumain ka muna.

Kumain ako ng sobrang bilis...mga 1 minute. Tunay.

LEI: Meryl, painom. Thank you. Babay!

MA'AM GENUINO: Ms. Garcia, magbukas ka na ng 2 gloves nyo ni Mr. Llorca. Mag-scrub na kayo.

LEI: Owki Ma'am... (Waaa.... Lintik na bata. Kelangan ilabas agad...)


----------------
MIKO: Lei, ikaw na scrub 1.
LEI: Ah. E ano ba ginagawa nun?
MIKO: Ikaw sa O.S. (operating sponge) count at instrument count.
LEI: (Waaaa....) Cge, bahala na. Experience na din!

Bottomline is... Tapos na kami ni Miko sa CS. Tig-dalawang case na kami ng CS. Yea!

[Okray Mode]
Si Doktora na OB, ung head part ng gown malapit na sa floor. Baliktad ung bukas nya. Syempre ang kapal ng mukha ko pero syempre kelangan sabihin.. Sabi ko, "Doktora, baliktad po." Aba, dinedma ako. Intern pa lang naman?! Dinaig pa ang mga residente na nagte-thank you sa amin! Batukan ko siya e! Mag-anesthesiology na lang siya kung gown pa lang, hindi na marunong. Wahaha.

Back to reality on Monday...

d maka-move on!

First week of second sem went very well, I guess. All the firsts were okay! First quiz for M.S., first IFC (indwelling foley cath.) insertion and the first case in the OR (operating room).

During our first day of duty in the OR, there were no cases left for our RLE group. Our time of duty is from 2-10pm. We're like, "Sino'ng may balat sa pwet?!" At that time there was only one of us who had a case from the past OR duty. Then after an hour, there were 3 emergency cases. Two of which are emergency CS (cesarean sec.) and one exlap. The exlap patient did not survive though!

The next day I am one of those SNs who will surely have a case. I was praying for the MRM (Modified Radical Mastectomy) but I was assigned to scrub in the ORIF (Open Reduction Internal Fixation) R femur and tibia. It was cool. Hehe. Dr. R was very noisy and claims himself to be the fastest in his field, maybe just a lil slower than Dr. C. Resident Dr. L will be a very good surgeon, I must say! I think the anesthesiologist is the owner of the handsome BMW parked in front of Lev. I wasn't really listening when they were talking about the cars they own. Dr. D (everyone's crush?! except me!) explained to me about the greater trochanter chorva. I've only seen the "greater trochanter" printed in books but not in real life. So, oo na lang ako. Anyway, the operation was very brutal. Hehe. I had to help in retracting and suctioning. My left arm was very fatigued after. How's that for a first case? I just have to figure out on how to make a pathophysiology for a vehicular accident! I only scrubbed in for the ORIF R femur. A new set scrubbed in for the ORIF R tibia.

'Yun pala! natalamsikan ako ng blood sa mask at sa eyelid. Buti talaga hindi sa mata kundi walk out siguro ako! Dapat sa mga ganung dirty case e naka-goggles! Sumenyas na lang sakin yung isang residente na "It's okay." Sana wala na akong ortho case! Hehe! Pero okay lang din kung meron.

Dameng requirements... As usual!

Just a crumb of bread is Still a bread

Today we met our subject professors for the entire 2nd semester. We have four subjects: Two of which are way way major subjects, one pa-major subject but minor still, and the other one is minor also but is very important for our thesis!

I gulped as we discussed the syllabus for NURS 103 which is the course code that deals with alteraltion of normal human functioning, or simply, pathophysiology. Outline pa lang yun. Toughest semester, it seems... and as testified.

Something came up a week ago which stressed every inch of me. I'm feeling like I can't live life like a normal teenager should. Nevertheless, I am thankful for the people around me in bringing out the best in me. Though I have yet to learn lots of things, I'm taking it easy now. Break's over and I need to focus on my studies and especially on our nursing research which bothers me a lot!

It's good to know that people who really care about you sense something's wrong. I appreciate friends who truly understand me when I myself seem to be lost everytime I try to open up. I'm eighteen and all I can say to myself is to hang on. There seems to be no solution to life's hardest problems.. especially ones that involves your immediate family. I actually hate myself for slowly picking up things I should know 'cos no one else would. I refuse to sleep until I think everything's okay. I am still young and I feel everyone's expecting me to stand out and be more responsible when I can't really force myself to know this and that. And when I get impatient, they think I'm a bad person. I had lots of criticisms lately and I'm under pressure. I just have no choice, I guess.

I have reasons for going to med school and for once in my life, I don't want to feel cheap.

Even though I'm just a crumb of bread, I'm still a bread.

Cheverlou Files I

In West Sussex, London... here is a conversation between a British pre-school teacher and a 4 year old Filipina, Drew Leslie.

TEACHER: Drew, what is your nationality?
DREW: I don't have a nationality.
TEACHER: I mean, are you a Filipino?
DREW: Oh, I don't think so!

In Chicago, Illinois... I asked Ajae, a 3 year old Filipina through voice chat...
LEI: Ajae, are you a Filipino?
AJAE: No!
AJAE's MOM: Anak, you're a Filipino.
AJAE: But we're in Chicago!

Here's a voice chat with Drew...
LEI: Drew, can you still speak Tagalog?
DREW: I only speak English!

A few minutes later...
DREW: Tita Ponds? Ano'ng ginagawa mo?

Here's a conversation between Ajae and her mom...
AJAE's MOM: Ajae, I can't give you a gum. You don't throw it after.
AJAE: *tantrums strike*
AJAE: Mommy, I'm a big girl na...
AJAE's MOM: Oo nga anak, you're a big girl na kaso nilulunok mo naman yung gum!
AJAE: I'm a big girl na... only... I'm little!

In Dasmariñas, Cavite... pinakamalala ang local...
LEI: Nik, kunan mo ng temperature si tatay.
NIKA: Hindi ako marunong magbasa nun!
LEI: Huwaaat?!
LEI: Nanay, si Nika hindi marunong magbasa ng thermometer. Hanubayun?
NANAY: Ako rin kaya!
LEI: o_o

On A High

pasaway 'tong informante ko. hindi ko na siya informant ngayon. Oct. 19 (today) 2nd game pala ang 1st game ng Ginebra. Umasa pa naman ako no'ng Wed. Waha.

aus ung ek! limang anchor's away.. 3 dodgem. 2 rio. 2 log jam. zero sa space shuttle. haha. nakakaduwag talaga! next wk, ek nanaman?! waha. mga chums nman! ayea! tas.. enrolment nnaman. tas 2nd sem na?! pathophysio na kami.. woo! bka matanggal na ko haha!

next ek, alam ko na mga dadalin! takte! hindi uubra ang jacket sa rio!

un lng.. di tlga ata ako mapapasakay sa space shuttle. nakakatamad ung rialto. at buti hindi na kame nag 4d.

bumili kme ni kate ng necklace. ayea! ansaya! un lng wla akong dalang pampiktyur! pero kuwa na lang ako sa iba! nyaha! more than 20 less, than 30 kami.. weh grupo2 din.. pero aun msaya p ren! :p

mimi, bev, lei, kate, lori, pj (kme plng to! :p)

Taste of Saline

Ui, sem break na ba talaga?

Just like what my classmate-slash-friend said, "'Di ko feel ang sem break.", I think I felt it too.

Earlier, we claimed our class cards and saw the comprehensive exam results. Congrats to the top 10 of the class in Pharmacology and MS! Congrats to our section as no one got out of the system!

I've been asking people on their plans for the sem break. The usual answer is, "Nothing much, I guess." One said, "Just TV. I'm deprived."

Well, as for me, I've had too much TV, I think. I didn't really study for the first sem of my junior year. I was stubborn as usual...probably the reason why I got fairly satisfactory grades which I totally have no regrets, btw.

Anyway, what's to celebrate lately?

1) Of course, first on the list is having to watch PBA Philippine Cup 2007! First game of Ginebra is like 80 minutes from now. I missed the opening, though, but I managed to know a few highlights. I'm wondering when they will update the PBA official site. I'm still confused on who's who in the line-ups.

2) Tomorrow is EK day with college budds. I can hardly remember the last time I went there... Welp, I guess it's really time to visit it again. :)

3) I had lots of good laughs just by watching House. I had good laughs last night just by watching Mommy Elvie's. Hehehe. I had a few good laughs just by watching Kokey though the aliens are freaky and annoying, the comedians are very good! It's just fun being silly sometimes! :p

4) It's semestral break! "Come on, you people!" Capital D-U-H. I can't think of anything to say. I'm just thinking it's something to celebrate about?

I'm tired of thinking..but it's inevitable..and definitely a stupid thing to say.

Seriously, though, I regret having done it. As the lyrics say, "I don't suppose it's worth the price that I would pay."

Finally.

patient - nurse

nang dahil...

wednesday
magaling magaling. high grade fever plus hysteria plus ret dem ng newborn care plus drive pa pauwi plus self-medication

thursday
duty plus admission-->confinement overnight

friday
1 duty day missed! 1 evaluation exam missed! but I'm now 80% recovered..

salamat sa mcdo big breakfast, mushroom burger, at barquillos na bigay ng mga nagsi-dalaw!

andaya. nag-sale pala sa starbucks!! tsk3

Happy Birthday Amiga!

sem break's like two weeks from now..but before that, compre muna syempre!

ano naman iba-blog ko ngaun?!

wala lang. I seem to have lots and lots of questions in mind ryt now. several surprising things.. I woke up this morning feeling funny and jolly. can't say why.. but it's something that always makes me smile.. after lunch, all the happiness ang giddiness I felt instantly snapped into heart break. my classmate told me, "wag kang mag-inarte." and he made me laugh big time! I feel so useless hehe.

tell me..how to really belong?

I have plans for myself after Nursing..but my family are also planning for my life already. I want to take NMAT next year. They don't want me to. for all I care! I've been thinking about this since 2nd year.. I can't be a scholar. I'm not really that smart. Perseverance isn't equal to worthiness but through perseverance, you gain paramount knowledge. Gaaaah.

Pharmacology book is like the Nurse's bible. Hehe. Just my opinion, I guess..

Tomorrow, is still GD (growth and dev't) concept.. several exams. I guess coffee is the key to pass!

I got super tanned.. err. dark after volunteering in the Gawad Kalinga project. I'm thinking where I could get pictures from it. We built the foundation of the houses. Err. don't know how to call it but I did the "palitada". It's such a pleasure being there and helping of course. I mean, our dean, was like one of us too. it's kinda cool. :)

Estudyante: Dean, pwede po bang mag-sando na lang mamaya 'pag nag-"trabaho" na kami? (referring to the gawad kalinga house building project)
Dean: Of course! You can remove everything!

By all means, hehe.

We're idiopathic. Teka. Tama ba spelling? Basta. Idiopathic kasi hindi namin alam kung ano ang totoong date ng birthday ng fave prof namin. Waha. Pati age hindi namin alam. kaya naman.. sweet sixteen na lamang. Shet. Nakakabobo ang spelling! Nakabili na kami ng cake. Woo. Celeb na bukas. Yeah!

The Socratic Method

I'm at episode 11 or 12 of House, Season 1

Last episode, season 3 of One Tree Hill

8th or 10th episode, season 3 of Grey's Anatomy

2 or 3 episodes of Supernatural season 1

Lost- 0

Heroes- 0

Prison Break- 0

Ghost Whisperer- finished season 1 already, IDK. I didn't really like it. Not interested in watching it anymore. I don't really dig silly fictitious sequel. One Tree Hill is slightly dramatic that's why I'm not anymore interested in watching it but still, I bought season 4! I definitely miss Grey's Anatomy but after watching House, uhm... All I got was terrible headaches.

Ah. I'm not sure why I want to watch Heroes when it's also fiction. Most probably, I was just intrigued.

"This is wrongly nice." (Aussie accent) Instead of studying, I'll be spending nights and nights of House at the house.

I'm currently working on our research and summary on the Mexican revolution as a requirement in English Literature. It's quite a headache as I was never good in politics. I do like listening to current events though but never liked debating about them. I usually rationalize points that are not conclusive.

I'm not a very philosophical person. I don't even know how one can be called philosophical.

I'm not making sense. Again. Homework first, I guess.

Week end

Obstetrics has been tough. Midterm was tough (period)

Earlier, I had two choices on where to hang out this afternoon. First I was asked to watch a horror movie and head to Tagaytay afterwards. The other is just around the corner where there will be battle of the bands. Unfortunately, my mom did not approve either of the two.

Due to lightning, my poor computer's not functioning anymore. Gaah

I love "itlog na pula/itlog na maalat" but it's expensive and I can't distinguish fresh from rotten ones. I searched for steps on how to make some and found that in English, they're termed as, Salted Eggs in Brine or Pickled Eggs or Salt Cured Eggs. Oo nga naman.

My very obedient and punctual groupmates in Literature did not submit to me before six pm this afternoon.

Billy Blanks motto: to be the best that I can be
Billy Blanks says: Yesterday is history. Today is reality. Tomorrow is a promise.

Yesterday is definitely history! Forget and learn.

wawawa

I'm beri sad.. that's why I worked out this morning for 30 mins.. '^_^ hoping endorphins will do any good to my body and mind.. It's like a coping mechanism.. I also drank green tea for detoxification hoping bad vibes will leave my body. hehehe

I'm never good in swearing and it's bad to swear but I did again anyway.

My Pharmacology unit exam was beri tuff! '^_^ We were rushed and that's my excuse!

I still don't have an assignment in Literature. Tsk3.

I hate our Lit. subject. <--as usual.

Weekends, all I did was drive and accompany my sister for check-ups. Soooo stressful.

I'm beri sad because I'm not sure what's lacking in my life!

On The Ropes to Recovery

"She left me all alone again. This I ask of you, Please Stay with me until she comes back."

Pinagtatawanan ko lang dati (as in way way back) tong kantang to a. Ansama kasi...

Kung dati, ansama ng kantang to.

Ngayon, sobrang sama na talaga.

Kung dati, nakakatawa lang xa.

Nang narinig ko ngayon-ngayon lang, no comment ako.

---------------------

I'm a tough woman despite all. I'm wise enough to know when IT'S useless already. I'm human to feel hatred, to have regrets, to criticize, and make mistakes..

It's true that when you come to the point when you're about to do something wrong, "someone" will always pull you back. In my case, it's very different. I didn't know a lot of people care about what I think, what I do, and most importantly, ME as a human. Some of them are not even close buddies of mine. I was very surprised by their efforts to console me. It was empowering and I'm glad they stood by me when I can't stand for myself. Whenever I'm confused, I hardly talk. They do the talking for me, and I'll be okay afterwards. It's as if, they understand what I'm going through.

We all should have lots and lots of friends. In turn, we should also be there for them and thank them occasionally. :D

Ang drama. Nak ng siopao. On the recovery track.

We're done. There's no "We" in the first place, thank God.

It's more fit to say, I'm done.

Though I have... around... 4 or 5 drafts of unpublished & uncut stories of the "issue", more likely I will never post them hehe. This post is cut. Pu*ang ina controversial pala ito! Haha! Asa naman ako!

Good Luck na lamang sa MedSurg at Pharma Unit Exams. Indi na epistaxis, kundi hemorrhage.

Nung nangyayari?

ang coño ng mga tao. pambihira. hehe.

shet, mahal na mahal ko tlga aso ko! ang bait nung vet. mabait na din ako sa kanya. :p

gusto ko ng cat. kahit walang breed. kaso, wla akong pera para ipa-vaccine un. harhar.

wlang pasok. 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. wla ding duty.

nag-inom ako cguro 3 o 4 times na ngayung 1st 2 weeks ng august. wla kasing mgawa?!

pero onti onti lang.

gusto ko ng cat uli. kaso dapat low-maint. haha. minus shedding pa, kaso baka kalmutin ako at magbasag pa ng mga baso sa min. . hmm.. ang hirap i-cat proof ang bahay nmin.

c'mon may online diary na ang bakla kong aso! haha!

Of High Hopes and Dreams

Been thinking. Could it be that I was/AM just overwhelmed by the operating room setting? Been thinking.

..just an ordinary college student, hoping to get 80 at the least in all subjects.

Been kidding a lot on giving discounts on 'future' (dammit) deliveries and C.S. for my female block mates.

Been telling my mom that I won't settle abroad and be a thousand-earning nurse---following the foot steps of my older siblings.

Been telling her, I'm going to proceed to medicine afterwards and hoped that she would support me.

Been asking who else in my batch are going to proceed to med.. Surgery is mostly what I hear as specialization.

Been seriously thinking about it . .

I have high hopes for myself for the humble reason that it's not fortune really that matters. It's how you make yourself to be someone of use. It's one's sense of fulfillment.

My mom asked me to go for it and was very supportive which surprised me A LOT because she was the one who kept on pushing me to just settle on Nursing.

"Nay, magdo-doktor ako."

"E 'di sige. Kaya mo ba?"

Napaisip ako. Napasubo ata ako. Hindi naman ako matalino para mag-ambisyon ng pagiging doktor. Pero, gusto ko e.

"Pag gusto, kakayanin."

"Ano klaseng doktor ba ang gusto mo?"

"OB-Gyne (Obstetrics & Gynecology) ho."

"Aba, mahirap yan, anak. Pero mas hahanga ako sa'yo kung magpa-public servant ka pag doktor ka na."

Ang galing pala manghula ng nanay ko?

http://www.friendster.com/41011192 <-wag IClick

LAULA: Sabi ko na nga ba Manang, luv mo din ako.
E teka pala. San mo 'ko dadalin?!
MANANG: Kuleeeeet. Wag ka makulit.

LAULA: A bacon treat for a pose.
LEI: Stubborn bItch.

This book is no longer available in SM Dasma.
I had to search for other book stores.
Anyhow, I'm guessing it's a really good buy!


@ Kenny R; I ate half slab. Gluttonous!


I was just checking if my face is still 'edematous' on photos.
It turned out I am always in shock.

Okray

Ano, Ms. Garcia? Parang ang dami mo atang problema.

A oo. Buti napansin mo. Po? Ma'am, marami lang po talaga akong iniisip lagi.

--------

2 hours kami pinagawa ng OS (operating sponge).

Hindi din naman ako ipokrita na ayaw ko nang nakatambay kami. Aba ayos din naman yun, hindi toxic. Naka-aircon, may radyo at naka-scrub suits pa kami. Sobrang komportable. Sarap matulog. Pero ba't naman ganun? Ni hindi pa nga kami nahahasa sa lahat! Ayoko na mag-enumerate. Ang sa 'kin lang.. Pa'no 'pag may emergency AP o CS, ano na gagawin namin? Haler. Tapos babatiin pa ako ng Ano, Ms. Garcia?

Nakaw Miss. Ayusin ang blood vissels. Dapat blood vessels. *wave*

Hindi pa nga nae-episio, e episio na daw. (1st time maka-witness kami ng NSD [Normal Spontaneous Delivery] Gravida 3 na!])

Nakaw Miss talaga. Kala ko ba midwife ka? *wave*

Pero ganun pa man, ginagalang kita. Kasi, c.i. kita e. Sa 'yo ako supposedly matututo. Sana nga. *wave*

--------

First time ko pala makakita ng Chihuahua, tapos inihian pa 'ko. Bwicet. Nabwisit din si Laula hehe. Ayaw pala nun sa kapwa niya aso. Nag-inarte?

Jeepney Drayber

Kahit babae hindi pagbibigyan.. TSK3. Teka. Baka akala bading ako?!

Ilang araw din akong tatahak sa kadiwa. An gulo ng sistema ng driving dun.

Good luck kung makaka kuha kami ng case sa OR. Di bale. Agresibo naman ang c.i. namin. LOL.

Sayang. Kala ko tunay yung emergency TAHBSO (Total Abdominal Hysterectomy Bilateral Salphingo - Oophorectomy). Peke pala. Excision of sebaceous cyst lang pala. Ahuhuhu.

Saturday. Gusto ko nang magbasa ng Like Water for Chocolate ba yun? Pero mukhang korni ata. Pwede bang laktawan ang Friday ?

6-2 Duty

Pwede ka ng Tuesday Thursday?

Umm..Opo?

Shet. Araw-araw na training?

May teammate kaming WNCAA (Women's National Collegiate Athletic Association) mythical. Hanep.

Sasali dapat ako ng cheering. LOL. Kaso di pala pwede at lagi silang inuumaga sa practice. E puro naka-dorm yung mga yun kaya okay lang. Kung ako, yari ako sa bahay!

---------

May isang bata na nag dikit sa car window ng green "notice", POTEK, akala ko tiniketan ako. Note lang pala, nagtatanong asan daw ako. Isip pa ako, "Huh? Wala namang nakalagay na NO PARKING."

---------

Sexuality ang topic ngayong araw. Wala lang kaming ginawa kundi tumawa, mag-rationalize, at magkwentuhan. Hehe.

As usual, may natutunan na naman akong green joke.. at di lang basta-basta. Napamura tlga ako kasi to the highest level itech.

Pinakita din sa 'min ang uncensored kama sutra. Boring. LOL.

Tinuro sa 'min kung pa'no i-measure ang penile circumference at length which is proven 99% true. Tinuro din kung pa'no malalaman ang size ng vagina which I highly doubt on accuracy.

Kaya ayun, ingat sa mga gestures at pananalita. Sinabihan tuloy kami na 50% of the class ay 'di na virgin. <-- WOAH.

From This Day Forward

HIM

Wow as in wow. A lot of chicks are checking him out hah!

THE OTHER HIM
Either he's in love or he's just crazy in love.

SOMEONE
I'm confused as to whether he's a he or she's a she.

NO LOOK PASS
No joke. They say I did it twice and didn't even realized it. (?!)

24
My classmate said he'd probably marry at the age of 24..and realized after 10 seconds that he's already 20 and that it would have to be very soon in that case! He was apparently shocked by his own suggestion. LOL. *toinkz*

----------

Like 80% of our class have sworn their hearts and minds out because of several failing grades and I, of course, am not exempted to that. Whew. I'm actually ashamed of my attitude towards studying. They say it should not be a stressful one but it surely requires hard work and I'm tired. Should I say, we're all tired?

Anyway, I don't really want to talk about how frustrating this day has been for most of us.

Hmm.. I figured I suck in English.. particularly in grammar and spelling. (?!)

Hehe. I can't believe I had to think twice on which spelling is right for the word 'cesarean' (section). I guess what I wrote is right.

Nonsense! I just wanted to post, that's all. *wave*

Talk About Faint

Gaaahh. I didn't faint. I just think I should from all the "body neglect" I did to myself. Considering I'm in the health profession, I sometimes fail to take care of myself.

Geez. I didn't know how intense was the word "intense" til today's practice. From a week of being stagnant (or no exercise), my body's in poor condition. I think I have to take weight training seriously if I want to improve. Speaking of "improvements", the whole time before training, I constantly thought of quitting the "varsity" (not sure yet if I'm in the team already). My seat mates were very supportive and convinced me not to quit or everything I have started will just go to waste. They were barely the reason I hung on. There's something else. Haha. or should I say.. there's someone else. Hahaha. But it's nothing serious. I just figured, oh what the heck, I can do this! I was very motivated by my seat mates. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me. Jef told me, "Nag-improve ka maniwala ka. 'Di ba ngayon mas tumatagal ka na sa court? 'Di ba pamilyar ka na sa court ngayon?" While on my left, Jo would say something like, "Lei. Kaya nga training 'di ba? O 'di ba marunong ka ng mag-cross over?"

Huhuhu. I was like.. Wow, I really am improving! I didn't know these were called "skills" already hahaha!

Anyway, I can shoot now. OMG this is what I call achievement. One of the coaches taught me how to do boarding. I'm glad my arms cooperated throughout the one-on-one. I thought that particular coach (they are 3 at the moment) looks good but apparently, he's just okay to look at I guess. :) Hehe. He was very pushy and kept telling me, "Wala. Hindi ka na makaka-shoot kahit kailan." I replied, "Sobra. Nakaka-shoot naman po ako ha!"

Sobra na talaga yung mokong na yun. Haler. Hindi kasi siya nakatingin. Nakaka-shoot na 'ko. Epal talaga nun. Haha.

Grabe. Kung anu-anong pagtakbo pinagawa sa 'kin. Bawal pang umupo. Bawal mag-water break 'pag hindi naka-shoot. Tae. I actually told him, "Coach, I quit!" (as in English na I quit!) He just said, "Hinde! Isa pa!" Parang tanga lang.

Eniwei. Bakit nga pala 'faint'? Hindi xe ako nag-lunch. This is all my dog's fault! Err. I think my fault too. I got home at 5 pm..fixed myself and my things. Had an egg sandwich and extra joss hoping it'll be enough to keep me movin'. I immediately went to the gym but I was still not in my best condition.

Sa'n ba may sports massage?

read @ ur own risk blUes 61366

"OMG in-add nya."

30 secs later ...

"Shet. In a Relationship."

"...sabi ko na nga ba ndi na dapat ako nag-OL e."

Haha. Baliw.

Ok lang. Mali naman un spelling nung babae. Imbis na breathE in e breath in. Hindi typo a, talagang "breath in breath out".

O. Mamatay na mang-away sa 'kin. Totoong mapangpuna ako. <--Hala, parang mali. Mapangkutya yata. Ewan!! Yun lang, medyo mahina ako sa choice of words.

Lang kwenta nanaman ung post ko. Tsk.

-------
Maiba ako.

Ang mahal kong nanay e "mukhang" bibili ng pug in 6 months time. Sa loob-loob ko, shet watta disaster. Mukhang ako mag-aalaga. Malamang talaga dahil ako lang ang matiyaga. Disaster ito!

-------
Nakakatuwa pala ung Goin' Bulilit. Ang cute ni Aaron. May isa pa akong kilalang Aaron na super cute din. Gusto ko iuwi na lang. Hehe parang aso lang a!

Panalo yung, (sorry, di ko ma-quote ng tama)

"Minsan napadaan ako sa dalawang mag sweetheart..."

"Ano nangyari?"

"Ayun.. Nauso ang break-up."

Wala lang. Corny pero panalo tlga.

-------
Seryos mod!

How to really measure a woman's worth?

Is it by the man she chooses? Or the man who chose her?

Teka. E pano yung mga lesbian? Nyaha.

Edi.

Is it by the person she chooses? Or the person who chose her?

Magulo pa din.

Eto ha. Shet gagawin ko ba tlga to?

Eto na.

SILA: "May boyfriend ka na ba?"

Kung naitarak ko lang since last week, naku, mga 20 times na siguro akong natanong.

Ano'ng sagot ko? Smile lang.

Erna.

Kailangan ba tlga yun?

I don't think it's necessary. Sabi nga ni Toni Gonzaga, "He's worth the wait." Haha ang bading.

Ang sa 'kin lang, medyo whew. Kasi parang ang dating e, "You (woman) are worth nothing without a man."

I can very well manage. Thanks but no thanks.

This is hopefully the last time I'll be talking about NONSENSE.

read @ ur own risk blUes

At this moment, my batch mates are either watching Harry Potter or are drinking @ Popoy's Grill. Err. While the very obedient daughter named Lei, bores herself off at home because her mom told her so. I really wanted to watch Harry Potter with my block mates then drink liquor (which I doubt I would) @ my friend's house afterwards. Haven't been drinking for a while.. I figured that if ever I were with them right now, I'd probably just lie in bed or drink cold Coke, instead of drinking Red Horse, San Mig LYT or whatever. I just feel tired and depressed from Monday til today, Thursday. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I feel different from what I used to be. Waw pare bigat!

I hate going out merely because I have to go find a vet to have Laula dewormed tomorrow. Aw. Finally, I can get her to walk outside and show her who the boss really is!! I have to drive to the dentist too, dammit. I just want to lay idly just for one day.. just for one friggin whole day.

But I certainly can't and that's a fact. Sheesh.

This post is absolutely nonsense.

I showed some of my block mates the picture of Laula in my fone and they all went, "Oh, she looks like a toy!", "She's cute.", "She's adorable."

I just told them, "She's a bitch." and they all protested.

I am in antibiotics therapy. I am stressed out. I don't like texting. I hate it when I receive silly messages on my fone. LOL

I hate my Pain & Surg major exam. How could it be so difficult? Dammit.

I hate my Pharma major exam. How could it be so so so damn difficult? Dammit again.

I hate Operating Room topics because I feel I would never be good at anything.

I hate basketball practices because I don't think I'm improving. I'm always the "mahinhin" dribbler and shooter. Gawd I'm such a girl and I can't

I hate my dog because she's stubborn.

I love my dog because she wags her tail whenever she sees me and whenever I talk to her. It's as if she knows how I feel deep inside when I know for sure, she has zero idea what's on my mind. I'm crazy about her because I have so much things in mind that I'd surely buy for her. I give her Dog Bacon treats even though she's not doing anything proper. When Manang scolds her, I keep her away from her. When Manang puts her on her crate. I let her out! When she stinks, I give her "patient" baths. She's most adorable when she tilts her head. I think the reason why I have Laula now is to teach myself some patience, love, and to give in to emotions because I certainly lack these.

------

sabi nung katext ko, maganda daw ang prison break. shet gusto ko nun. gus2 ko tlg ng heroes!!!!!! at syempre house. shet, kelangang mg sem break na. napagiiwanan na ko sa mga tv series!! kahit ung Mommy Elvie's Problematic Show wla pa kong napapanood na episode. Bad 3p tlga. haha. ang laki ng problema ko *sob*

Accidents

Not the vehicular accidents you're thinking of! or gun shot wounds and multiple stabs..
Saturday July 14, 2007 is the day my new pet Shih-tzu came home at 2 months and 2 weeks I think. I still don't have her papers yet. Her name's Laula, btw. She kind of bit me at my Achille's. Not sure though if she really bit me, all I saw was a hematoma patterning her whole set of baby teeth and it hurts so bad. I had to go to Animal Bite Center and buy anti-rabies Favirab for 1550 per vial. I had tetanus toxoid and the syringes for free. To sum it up, the whole vaccination costed me 4Kphp. The friggin bitch (c'mon I know you know it's a female dog) costed 10Kphp. My mom was friggin mad at me for my carelessness. I am so friggin mad TOO because I had several injections and I despise them.

• 2 stinging skin tests
• 2 I.M. inj. of TT @ 2 deltoid muscles
• 8 cc I.M. inj @ gluteus medius
• 2 cc I.M. inj @ site of bite (Achille's)
• 3 ml I.M. inj @ deltoid

Of course, I didn't cry.. I just asked for mercy.. as in literally, I did. Of all, I couldn't stand the 8 cc. When we had our return demonstration on some parenteral one-on-one, I cried and couldn't move my arm when I was injected 1 cc of distilled water @ the deltoid. Compare that to friggin 8 cc!

My dog shouldn't make me suffer. She has no anti-rabies yet because she's to have that when she's 3-4 months of age or she'll die. Because she bit me, I have to observe her for 14 days. Gawd, I just hope she doesn't friggin die.

PUPPY NO-NO'S:

• Play with them using hands and feet. [This will make them think these are toys and are chewable! This is the reason I got bitten.]
• Potty train inside the house. [Her toilet should always be outside the house. Since puppies have no bladder control YET, I had to keep my eyes on her for signs of "going".]
• Let her roam inside the house. [She will poop and pee everywhere, chew carpets and rags. You should have a crate. Let the puppy outside the house after naps, 1o minutes after eating/ drinking, after playing, before bed time.]
• Have her eat lots of food because you think she's hungry. [It should always be moderate in amount or they will have diarrhea.]
• Buy her an inflated ball. [Canine teeth deflates it easily. Instead, buy a tennis ball.]
  

Trust me to not do these. Day 1, I prepared all the newspapers, but then she ignored them and kept peeing on tiles and pooping everywhere. I wanted to return her and forget about the puppy thing but my mom will reprimand me if I do that. So, she didn't recognize papers, I am now trying the "wait for signs of peeing, then carry her to where she's supposed to pee". I couldn't do this all the time because I have to study and can't keep an eye on her all the time.

From the no-no's, I actually said not to potty train inside the house. Well, that is ideally the concept, but I can't go outside hourly to do that and wait for her to pee. So the outside training is only for poops and if she pees then that's better..but the pee could be inside the house only at specific sites like the mat but this wouldn't prevent indoor accidents, mind you. So, I guess patience is really a virtue.

I tried to give her a bath, she didn't like it. I wasn't able to soap her well and rinse her well, too. She hated the blower which is 1-2 ft away already! She hates combs. I hate her.

Welp even though Laula is very much a brat, I gave her a dog toy, bought a ball which she deflated in less than an hour [stupid thing for me to do], bought a collar and leash which I haven't used yet, but is designed for leadership training. She thinks she's the boss. I think I will undergo tonsillectomy in no time from all the scolding and shouting. I also bought Purina Begging strips in bacon and cheese flavor. I figured treats will do magic on the ropes of training her. I let her taste some and she liked it..but she won't get it very often because of her behavior. The Purina Begging strips are also good for the teeth, says the man from the pet shop. My mom buys the dog food though but I can manage that, too. I wanted to buy Pedigree but it costs twice than the brand we use at the moment.

This dog costs me my allowance so I have to be really good at this behavior training or everything will just go in to waste. I am a person who has no patience perhaps, 20% for that matter. She's getting on my nerves most of the time. I'm just glad I am not hypertensive.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Meet the pUp. Leave a bone. :)

Join the Dogster community

LUrrrV FLAT TOPS

BALANCE. i know most of my classmates don't know the meaning of this word. LOL. because most of the time, from my assessment, they are either too tired to study or too studious to sleep. it's like a routine already.. them staying at their dorm, to study, to sleep and eat. however, when i ask them about how boring their lives are, i often hear protests. they defend themselves so much that i just laugh at them and tell them how silly they sound.

CVA/ cerebral infarction. this is unfair. I always (as in always) encounter stroke patients. yesterday was my third and is hemiplegic on Left side of his body. gawd. poor man. but he's still lucky he only had mild stroke.

END OF ROTATION in WARD. Next stop: JP OR. gawd I'm going to miss my 2-10 duty. I am nocturnal! LOL.

EVALS. took the exam for 2 hrs. twas draining but i know I will pass nevertheless. our professor made sure that no one gets a perfect score at it. how nice

FOOD. my appetite's back and I'm glad. I'm currently addicted to frozen flat tops!!

JOKE. I feel that nobody's taking me seriously. everyone thinks I'm always joking when I am NOT.

MEMORY...gap. I'm serious. it's true that I'm experiencing it not once but often times. I'm starting to feel like I'm worse than an Alzheimer's patient.

MORNINGS. my everyday school dilemma is to find a parking lot especially during my days on duty. I had to park on the pay-per-parking lots which are so narrow that I had to drive with every caution imaginable.

OF. (osteorized feeding) I was surprised on how easy it is to feed a patient thru OF. Angel and I fed her obtunded patient.

ROOM. My room is so unbelievably clean. If you could just see it! It was like my room during my 2nd yr college days when I constantly clean my room. But today, it was the courtesty of Manang! Still recovering from awe, I asked her, "Manang, favorite mo ba ako?" She replied, "Hinde. Naguguluhan lang talaga ako sa kwarto mo!"

SATURDAY. exactly 2nd week of July. hmm.. it's the dog day, hopefully. but I will study study study for 2 unit tests and eventually prelim exams. it will be tough, i presume!!

SELF. Hath I been selfish? emo time. shet. back then, I would always check on people & forget about myself but there came a time when I needed space from "them" that it all felt right. now, I don't know where I stand to them. they've become alienated to me and I'm starting to feel bad..

I have always been there for them. how can I be called selfish when I was always [always] there? life is so complicated. sometimes, I don't know how to keep pace anymore.

Glutaphos vs. Extra Joss

THIS WEEK: Napurga sa sausage-stuffed

Hulyo 9 LuneS
Hindi pala 30 antibiotics, kundi 35. At dahil tinulugan ko lang ang Pharma, 26/35 ako sa antibiotics. Sa dinami-dami ng antibiotics, talagang 'di nag-aral ang mababa ang score sa test na 'yon.

Dalawang term na lang, (thank you Lord!) tapos na ang Literature. Pero naaawa din ako sa "teacher" namin sa Lit (hehehe). Aw last subject eh, sorry siya! Ako naman, (buti na lang nasa likod ako), panay reklamo. "Haler miss, 5:30 na! Dismiss na no!" Inaamin ko hirap talaga ako sa Lit kaya ayaw ko nun. <--'Yun 'yun e! Debut pala ng seatmate ko [July 9]. Hindi ako inimbita. Napakasaklap. Tiga-"bayan" daw ako?! Mga tiga-Nix at dormbuilt lang ang tinext. Sabi ko nga, "Hoy 3 minutes away lang ako!" 'Di bale, hindi rin naman ako makakapunta. May training. Pero hindi ko na siya bibigyan ng paper. Wehehe. Hoy maligayang kaarawan, pagkatapos akong pitik-pitikin, at suntukin, tsk3.

Hulyo 10 MarteS
May libreng yellow pad pag naka-perfect score sa test ni Sir. Ngayon lang ako nakarinig nun.

May libreng torniquet kay Ma'am pag sa kanya naman naka-perfect. Ano'ng klaseng motivation ang mga ito?

Pero ganun pa man, wala akong pINerfect na exam.

Hulyo 11 MiyerkuleS
Ngayon yan. Tapos na ang Pain & Surgery. Shet, may natutunan ba ako? Buti na lang at hindi natuloy ang unit test ngayon kundi, mababa nanaman grade ko dun.

Wala ngang 150-item unit test, pero meron namang 35 na immunologic agents, aw. Dahil hindi ako nag-cram at nagbasa ako ng nagbasa, sosyal. 42 ang naisulat ko. Sana bigyan ako ng torniquet!!! Haha. Kung baga sa pre-school, may stars na stamp sa kamay. 'Yun nga lang, sa sarili ko lang 'yun. Alangan naman ipakita ko pa sa nanay at tatay ko.

Bad trip yung isang test. 17/25, ok na yun kmpara sa mga 8, 12, etc. Ba't ba kasi nauso pa ang mga vesicant anti-infectives na 'yan? Masakit na nga sa patient. Masakit pa ulo ko.

Ngayon lang din 'to.
Naisip ko..at madamdaming pag-iisip.. Bakit may mga taong nakakainis pero wala namang ginagawa sa'yo? Sobra talaga. Pero hindi lang pala ako. Baka nga naman meron talaga siyang ginagawang hindi kaaya-aya. Try ko na lang baguhin ang pag-iisip ko kasi bad yun e. Tatahimik na lang ako.. Pero "deep inside", "Hey you! Yes, you! Mag-ahit ka ng kilay!"

Bwahahahaha. Shet, karma ito!!!

Happy Birthday Tachie!

I bought 2 hamsters (brown and white) for Archie--complete with cage and 1-2 years supply of hamster's food. It costed me 1/3 of my week's allowance. It doesn't happen everyday naman.
Archie (my inaanak/ godson) named them Stephanie and Jack. Err.. I don't know why. He's 6 years old today, btw!

So, why hamsters? I guess they're cute to look at but I would never buy myself one. My sister's right when she said, "They're boring for a pet." Well, the rationale is for my godson to have a sense of responsibility at an early age and when he has grown up, he will remember his first ever pets, Jack and Stef. Nice names, though, for a person I guess but definitely not for silly mice. Hehe. My mom said, "Akala ko Jack and Jill." o_o Sometimes, I really hoped that my mom would refrain from giving comments.

Today is 7-7-07. Lucky day, eh? But not for all, according to a blockmate.

Aw. Mas pipiliin ko pang mag-epistaxis sa major subjects ko kesa sa writing style ni E.E. Cummings.

Currently reading:

• Introduction of one of E.E. Cummings books

Actually, I don't have to read it but I just think I should..so as to understand his style in writing. I've read his other poems and they are simply amazing. There's this poem that was assigned to us to interpret. Geez, I just can't comprehend. So, I'll leave it to my groupmates. Hehe.


------------------------------
B a c k . t o . r e a l i t y

I seriously have to get back to work! Can't afford to fail on my numerous Pharmacology and Medical-Surgical Nursing quizzes or I'll be dead.

"Whose imagined, therefore is limitless." - E.E. Cummings

End of Life

I have tons of things to do and all I can say is, "Ang pogi pala ng residente namin."

• Buy practice paraphernalia/ Do basketball drills.
  
• Pharma quizzes
• 30 Viamins, fluids and electrolytes
• 30 Antibiotics to be memorized
• Health Education quiz
• "Among Crumbling People" presentation
• Reflection on "We Real Cool"
• Comparison and contrast on "Dry your tears, Africa!" and "The Gift Outright"
• Compile drugs and cases for July 13, 07 Evaluation
• Forms to be submitted
• Learning Experience
• Intraoperative Phase quizzes
• Postoperative Phase
• I.V. therapy, draping, skin prep
• positioning topic
• anesthesia topic

Cases

• Ruptured varicosities, DM foot, PVD, DM II
• Fracture, 9 y.o.
• CVD brainstem, left thalamus, cerebral edema
  
• Post-op thyroidectomy due to neoplasm
  

I actually cried when I received my "stroke" patient in the service ICU--partly because I pity him, and mainly because I cannot do anything for my patient. He just lied there in deep coma, complete with ET tube and cardiac monitor. Vital signs are stable but it's all just because of the machines there (monitor and mech'l vent). I felt useless because his life is not in our control anymore. I didn't want to see anyone die. Because of that, I didn't eat dinner at all, my groupmates couldn't talk to me anymore. It was all like a nightmare.

Unlike in the ward, patients are conscious, communicative, under pharmacologic therapy, and they can verbalize what they feel or if they are in pain or experience discomfort. It's tough to take care of a critical patient because it's very much of a life and death situation. And I just couldn't. Call me coward but I didn't want to harm anyone. I knew I had to assess the vital signs every 15 or 30 mins. and pupil reactions, motor reflexes, etc. but I just couldn't touch him. There were doctors to assess anyway so I just assisted. The next day, the family decided to take him home against medical advice so he was discharged and he was no longer my patient. I heard he died and that he is a far relative of ours.

In my heart and in my mind, I will never forget you, Sir. I hope you heard my name, at least, and when I said goodbye and that I'd be back tomorrow. There are things that we should accept, I guess. It maybe is your time and may you rest peacefully. My prayers are with you.

Out Of Exasperation, Pardon Me

I see that there are 'post options' here in Blogspot. Now that's a good thing. I'll move my older site here when I've got the time.

But for the moment, I will tell how disturbed I am solely by my mind set.


HATES

• I hate mythology.
• I hate spending time on my English subject.
• I dislike doing movie analysis.
• I just despise my minor subjects, I guess..

THINGS I WANT TO DO

• Practice dribbling.
• Buy first a friggin' ball!
• Cardio workouts
• Arm exercises
• Earn money
• Edit this blog
  

These are probably the 'reasons' why I've been eating with poor appetite the whole day. I keep on thinking the things I badly want to do but I can't because of a lot of requirements that shouldn't be required in the first place. I don't see the point of those movie analysis and reflection papers. I mean we have managed to be in level 3 but still I feel like I'm in high school passing 2-page reaction papers. Dammit!

I know that these things shouldn't be a problem but I can't function well when I have my mind set with the better things I want to do. You see the battle between needs and wants? Well I effin want it my way and I feel really bad I can't have it that way.

I'm starting to sound like a toddler, my sister can't believe I'm acting such.

My second dilemma is that I need to earn money to buy my stuffs. My mom wouldn't buy me a ball 'cos it costs a grand or less. So I had to borrow 1000 from her. How the hell am I gonna pay her back? I just want to be somehow independent when it comes to my wants. I want to have a sense of fulfillment. Savings don't work for me 'cos I pay for bunch of photocopies and I do something for leisure, of course! I can't work for somebody because my studies has to come first no matter what. The only way is to come up with a business I can manage.

I actually told my seatmate, "Kailangan ko ng raket. I need money. How about a business of my own?" She just said, "Lei, just focus on your studies. After college, do whatever you want. Earn money like there's no tomorrow."

Gawd. Do I sound very desperate? I thanked her btw. She's full of sense, y'know. :)

Anyway, call me whatever you want, but I need to earn money NOW. I just don't know yet how I can make some.